Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. The Americans came down on the side of right but it could well result in them confronting a feisty, middle-sized opponent in North Africa. Let’s not forget Egypt has been on the ‘wrong side’ before when they threw out the British Empire and ended up in bed with the Russian Empire. Interesting to see the Iranians urging on the Egyptian people and Israel providing the only support Mubarak has left apart from an army of paid for thugs. My only wish is that the seculars to win, fanatics of any persuasion are baddies in my book.
Right wingers get it wrong
Talking of baddies despite what my chums Peter Skerrow and Micky Brigg think the Tories have messed up big time. Remember all of that slash and burn and the private sector will take up the slack, it’s a load of hunkum bunkum. The British economy has gone south and soon they will be confronting British record dole queues and rather than having lots of busy workers paying taxes they are going to have lots of idle people claiming benefits. You don’t have to do the maths to realise it’s a recipe for disaster. That’s what you get when you have a Prime Minister who went to Eton and Deputy Head from Westminster. Clowns without a clue about the world in which real people live. Come on Peter and Micky, defend yourselves if you dare.
Mission statements are corporate speak nonsense
That’s it for politics. I’ve long had a fascination for companies’ mission statements which are usually the same meaningless 50 words rearranged and stuck up in reception for visitors to stare at and wonder if they should make a sharp exit in case they bump into the idiot who wrote them. However I did enjoy the ones published by Goldman Sachs on their website. Number 1 is a beaut!
Our clients’ interests always come first.
Goldman Sachs became famous for advising unsuspecting investors (aka clients) to throw their life savings at the housing market while they bet their own money that the market would head in the opposite direction. They called it hedging but it was pretty damn obvious that they knew which direction it was heading in and gave it a big push just to make sure.
They have 14 guiding principles in total and they make a jolly good bedtime read if you like heading off into the land of nod with a big smile on your face.
When I stopped laughing I decided to have a go at writing some for ATOM, unfortunately I only got as far as:
To grow the best tomatoes in the UAE! We are bang on target and concluding a supply contract with Carrefour as I write.
And now for something nearly completely different
Eve our very own Facebooker and Twitterer told me she really liked my blog last week as I, for a change, actually offered some views on marketing rather than just random comments on news and sport (note, I’m limiting my sporting comments to one sporting pic this week). Just at that moment an e-mail arrived in my in-box from Sally Prosser espousing the fun theory which was right up my street. British advertising is memorable because it’s fun and because it’s fun I’m more inclined to buy the product/service. Perhaps the most extreme example is Marmite and their absolutely hum dinger of a campaign – Love or Hate. They have simply observed that no-one is indifferent to Marmite, they feel strongly either way. Now I hate Marmite but really wish I loved it so when I went camping last year my wife bought me a Marmite tin mug and I thought it was my best present ever (along with my shiny new Fred Perry wallet). So now even though I don’t like eating Marmite I show my affinity for the brand by proudly drinking my M&S tea in a Marmite mug.
I very, very highly recommend spending five minutes of your life having a look at Volkswagen’s fun theory, it’s better than brilliant.
The King’s Speech hits the spot
Following on from my trashing of Burlesque a few weeks ago I have good news to report. The King’s Speech got an average 9 pout of 10 rating from the Prosser family with my wife edging towards a 10. Beautifully shot, well acted, historically interesting with some nice touches of humour. I was a bit shocked about the language used by a King but my 12 and 14 year old were unphased. Go and see it.
Another music tip for the uninitiated
Talking of shocked I was very pleasantly surprised to learn that a few people have been following my music recommendations, for few read one. Alan Main was left cold by The National (bit gloomy) but absolutely loved the Scottish rockers, Biffy Cyro. This week I’m recommending The Vaccines but I’ve got a sneaky feeling that I may be in a minority of one so please treat with caution.
Fish and Chips anyone?
Nearly finally I have watched the progress of a new restaurant on Jumeirah Beach Road called The Great British Kitchen with great interest (Chalet, Jumeirah Beach Hotel end of Beach Road). I was thinking curry but when it opened it turned out to be a fish & chip shop. Quick review, menu – spot on (mushy peas and curry sauce specially for Darren Cole), chips – big, fat ones, nearly right but a bit soggy, cod – excellent but batter well wide of the mark, not golden and crispy, mushy peas – a triumph! Overall 5 out of 10, definitely worth a try and my guess is they will get the batter right and chips a bit crunchier.
Cracking joke for all of you Scots out there
This week’s (first ever) joke was sent in by Mark M-D of Air Miles fame.
David Cameron is visiting a Glasgow hospital.
He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness.
He greets one.
The patient replies:
“Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o’ the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm.”
Cameron is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.
The next patient responds:
“Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
Even more confused he just grins and moves onto the next patient, who immediately begins
“Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle.”
Now seriously troubled, Cameron turns to the accompanying doctor and asks,
“Is this a psychiatric ward?”
“No,” replies the doctor, “this is the serious Burns unit.”
Boom boom boom!
Top five apps
Finally, finally top 5 Apple iphone apps by our celebrity picker – Eve Brennan
5. Nike + GPS. Set yourself a challenge, compete with friends – even if they’re the other side of the world – or just simply map and track your progress while pounding the concrete, or sand in my case.
4. Time Out Dubai. A regularly updated list of what to do in Dubai. Concerts, restaurants, films and events about town which can all be found by location, date, genre or by public and editor recommendations. It’s Time Out in your pocket and a must have.
3. Shazam. The perfect name for a really magical app that would be an excellent way to cheat in a game of “Name That Tune”.
2. What’s App. The Apple equivalent of BBM: a chatting tool that lets iPhone users text each other gratis.
1. Viber. Free to download and saves you money, but that’s all I feel comfortable saying with Big Brother watching. If you are an expat and have an iPhone you need this.