More broadband for less money pretty please

Some people believe that website advertising doesn’t work and indeed it’s pretty easy to install ad blockers.  For advertisers the good news is you only pay for impressions (people who see your add) at worst and click-throughs at best (people who click your ad to find out more).  There lies the beauty, if you want to know more the information is instantly available – unlike with a TV ad, billboards, radio and newspapers/magazines.

One such ad that caught my eye was for Virgin broadband in the UK – 10Mb fibre optic connection for £5 a month (AED 30).  I’m paying AED 349 for a connection speed which usually gets edged by a drowsy snail and often cuts in and out.  Introducing competition has made a small difference but hopefully prices will head south sooner rather than later.

Thieving gits

Pecked tomatoesSomeone has been pecking at my precious toms!  According to my wife there is someone in Dubai searching for a solution, his last attempt was strategically placed rubber snakes which failed.

Snakes in my tamater patch 

Sorry, the King of Barking is Mohammed Al Fayed

After my last blog I was inundated with entries for maddest of the mad.  I thought I had all of the bases covered but then along came the former owner of Harrods and it was game over.  Al Fayed has had a statue of Michael Jackson erected outside Craven Cottage home of Fulham.  “Why is it bizarre?” he said after the unveiling. “Football fans love it. If some stupid fans don’t understand and appreciate such a gift they can go to hell.  “I don’t want them to be fans. If they don’t understand and don’t believe in things I believe in they can go to Chelsea”.  While on the subject of Chelsea reappointing Terry as Captain of England strikes me as the act of a madman, take a bow Capello.

Mohamed Al Fayed infront of statue of Michael Jackson

Best ad in Dubai

Some of you who have been here a while will remember a classic side of a building ad for Nivea which was up for about a year on Sheikh Zayed Road and showed two women with the headline ‘more moisture, more pleasure’.  Cue lots of giggling amongst the boys.  It took a while but Nivea has been trumped, I was driving along Beach Road the other evening when I saw this classic for L’Oreal.


Ad - limpness

Strangest brand extension

I’m not sure whose brand has been extended here but the people running Pepsi and Karl Lagerfeld must be mates with Al Fayed or the marketing team behind the HSBC sale.  Stupid idea, stupid execution.

diet coke by karl lagerfeld

Classic football player and manager talk

Newcastle United manager Alan Pardew is standing by midfielder Joey Barton following his outspoken comments this week in the French magazine So Foot.

The 28-year-old said that he was the best English midfield player and that he will not sign a new contract for his club until they prove their ambition.

Pardew told BBC Newcastle: “Joey is an opinionated person and that isn’t a problem for me.  If you had people without opinions, without that maverick streak then you wouldn’t have talented individuals,” he added.

“You wouldn’t have Eric Cantona, you wouldn’t have George Best – some of these players, their make-up is that individualism.”  

Joey, George and Eric, hmm, let me think, who is the odd one out?

More bands reform

My mate was over from England last week and we had a good old talk about music.   For every person that is prepared to pay to download music there must be at least two who grab it off the internet for free – you know who you are!  I’m wondering if rapidly falling record sales is the reason behind more and more bands reforming or do rock and rollers find it impossible to hang up their amps.  The latest three bands to reform are The Smiths, Adam and the Ants and Blancmange.  I wonder if you can guess which of these three bands has a pride of place in my record collection.  See below for a bit of vintage Adam to lead you off in the wrong direction.

Some classic comments from the red table

This week I sat on the red table with the gals.  To be fair most of the time they talked a lot of sense but just occasionally they came out with some startling revelations or complete bunkum.

First up I was reminiscing about my old headmaster at primary school, a fearsome fellow called Mr Taylor who every week at assembly did lost property. His favourite ploy was to hold up a sock and ask who had lost a left sock.  Scarred for nearly ever I used to think you had left and right socks but was always too afraid to ask which was which.  Much later in life I discovered that I had been a dork however Eve listened attentively to my story and retorted with, sorry there are right and left socksand proceeded to search the web for proof of which apparently there is plenty (Editor: Keith “Fashion Guru” Prosser – you can purchase yours here or here).  I’ve just remembered that Mr Taylor used to make any boy forgetting his PE kit wear girls regulation green knickers for the PE class, bit mean but very funny.

Top 5 cover songs

  • The Clash – Police and Thieves
  • Johnny Cash – Personal Jesus
  • Miss Jackson –  The Vines
  • Jimi Hendrix – All along the Watchtower
  • Furtureheads – Wuthering Heights

Check out this link (bit old, sorry) for the Daily Telegraph’s top 50 cover songs.

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