Tag Archives: Google

The analytics of age

Someone has pointed out that my blogs need to promote ATOM more and re-reading some of the articles I have posted I can see that I wander off-piste rather a lot (ha, managed to get a sporting reference in straight off the bat; ooh there was another one).  Anyway this week my lead subject is Google Analytics.  It’s brilliant and I’m now an expert so if any of you want to better understand who is interested in what you have to say on your website I’m your man – if you have any really grown-up questions I have my wing man all prepared, step forward the mighty Matt ‘the stat’ Birch.  I have one criticism of Google Analytics and it concerns an Americanism.  At this point I have to say that I don’t share the common hatred of all things American.  I actually think they do some things very well, like, for example, peanut butter.  On Google Analytics the dates are upside down, month followed by day followed by year.  Now that is extra-specially dumb and I don’t think I need to explain why.

While on the subject of stats another one I came across was the description of a 31 year tennis player as a veteran.  Ouch.  Seven minutes 32 seconds later I discovered another horrid stat, a child laughs 300 times a day and an adult 15 times.  Now here is a promise, if you can spare thirty minutes to visit our office I promise the combined efforts of our jolly team will ensure you exceed your daily quota of giggles.  And before Mighty Marek of MMI fame comments below, it won’t be due to the work we present to you.

Talking of being a veteran at age 31, I woke up this morning seriously worried about where my life is heading.  Last year you may remember I was raving about the Maccabees brilliant new album; Wall of Arms (is album still a word?).  Now the Maccabees are a serious indie band, a little bit off the radar, so I felt very comfortable being an admirer.  This year I can’t stop playing Midlake and it’s horrible.  They are beardy sorts playing electronic folk and I can’t believe I just owned up to liking them.  I sense punk mark two is just around the corner to save me.

Tavistock College

Spot the difference

Princetown jail

Which is the school, which is the prison?

In mentioning the music I grew up with I am often accused of being a public schoolboy. I actually attended Tavistock Comprehensive School on the edge of Dartmoor in Devon. My school often got mistaken for Princetown Prison which lay around ten miles away.  I have just realised that my American friends did something else stupid, name an Ivy League University after an English prison (there is a spottable flaw in my argument).

Apologies for finishing on sport but following the 6 Nations rugby tournament I was trawling the reviews to try and get a better understanding of why England under-performed.  It wasn’t so much the losing it was the total lack of ambition.  Good players like Delon Armitage have somehow had all of their confidence surgically removed by the England coaches.  Jack Rowell the legendary Bath coach of old was pretty scary if you under-performed but he was a cuddly teddy bear of a man compared to the brooding Martin Johnson.  Armitage was so obviously out of form yet managed to start four of England’s matches while the bang in form Ben Foden sat warming the bench.

Anyway, enough of being an armchair critic, this is what a gentleman called Miles Kington concluded on the subject of England rugby: ‘Was William Webb Ellis really the first Englishman to pick up the ball and run with it?’ Probably not, but he was almost certainly the last.’

And now for something completely different, to try and rid myself of my alarming drift into folk I’m going for top 5 punk songs this week.

  • Beat on the Brat; Ramones
  • Anarchy in the UK; Sex Pistols
  • White Riot; Clash
  • Alternative Ulster; Stiff Little Fingers
  • Germ Free Adolescents; X-Ray Specs

I would be staggered if anyone out there can beat this list of classic anti-establishment songs but feel free to have a go.

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SEO rocks and so does Gil Scott Heron

Another week has gone by and first up a tip.  We have spent a lot of time and energy practising what we preach i.e. optimising our website and it works big time.  Google is king and SEO brings with it lots of enquiries some of which will turn to gold.  The crew at ATOM Digital can do the same for you if you ask them.

Various people have had a bit of a pop at me for not dealing with the controversial subjects that swirl around the city on a regular basis.  Many of these are rumour as Dubai manages to pull off the trick of being a big city and a village at the same time.  Drug fuelled torture, financial irregularity and the Burj Dubai transforming itself into Burj Khalifa have all been much discussed everywhere apart from in the media.  For what it’s worth I’ve got no comment on two of these burning issues but have something important to say on the third!  To me Burj Dubai sounded very flat and boring; Burj Khalifa by contrast has flavour and romance.  Burj Khalifa is a good name for the world to get used to pronouncing.  It’s a truly amazing building and a great testament to the million and one people of different nationalities who made it happen.  Dubai delivered and let’s not forget how long it took us Brits (or was it Aussies?) to build Wembley Stadium or the fiasco that was the opening of Heathrow Terminal 5.  By contrast Dubai opened its new terminal with zero fuss but got very little credit.

Bashing is fine if you are a half glass empty type of person but credit where credit is due.  Furthermore every country in the world has tensions caused by migrant workers and if you really think about it the Arab world is an amazingly welcoming and tolerant place to live.  We make absolutely no effort to learn their language or to understand their culture and yet people still moan that Emiratis behave as if they own the place.

While on the subject of Britishness I am ready to pronounce on the John Terry affair.  Guilty.  Off with his head.  Marital affair aside (bad boy, but it happens and he’s not in Tiger’s league as far as I know, although the News of the World is working on it) he is well dodgy.  Showing people around Chelsea’s training ground for a quick £10,000 and then saying he gave the money to charity but can’t remember which one is a shocker.  John, you earn £140,000 a week, be happy.

I started with a tip so I’m going to end with a tip – check out Gil Scott Heron’s new album.  You can listen to the whole album on The Guardian, just click on the link below and transport yourself to a world of poetic lyrics and raw vocals.  I didn’t go to Nickleback but trust me the Canadian rockers would be in shock and awe.


Last week’s top five guitar inspired songs was a little bit controversial, we even had a vote for Dire Straits.  In case you want to know where I stand on revising my list to include Dire Straits the clue is in the name.  This week in the interests of continuity I’m doing my best ever and ever guitarists (Mark Knopfler look and learn).

Jimi Hendrix

Slash (Guns N’ Roses)

Jack White (White Stripes, Raconteurs, Dead Weathers)

Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath)

Jimmy Page (Led Zepplin)

If I don’t hear from you (click comment) I’ll assume you agree with me…

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